What are you going to do when you retire? That’s usually the first question after the big announcement comes out. Everyone has plans, but retirees often discover that these were not as sustainable, lasting or rewarding as they’d thought, and they have empty hours to fill. At this point, developing meaningful alternatives can be overwhelming. Time passes, and opportunities are lost.

So well before I retired, I started a list of activities that I could do and might want to do in retirement if I got bored. It quickly reached 16 pages without much time or effort. It’s not a Plan A or a bucket list, and I can’t do everything on the list. It’s only a resource to consult if I’m stuck for ideas or want to reconsider my options.

It’s easy to create your own, and it’s not valuable just for those approaching retirement: Colleagues half my age now realize the value of starting early, not just to plan for retirement but to have ideas ready for any occasion, such as an unplanned sabbatical or a vacation. Regardless of age, one’s circumstances and interests change over the years; with more options ready now, you won’t waste precious time later.

Making an attainable list

I didn’t think that I’d need a list. But a lunchtime conversation with yet another bored, unhappy retiree caused me to reconsider. Back at the office, I opened a Word document an entered several retirement activities that readily came to mind—and then stopped. Racking my brain for more ideas would waste time and turn this into a burdensome project to avoid. So I put the list aside, knowing that I could return later. It was enough just to begin and allow my mind to work in the background.

Sure enough, as I walked to my car, my mind drifted. An idea emerged. It wasn’t new; it had just been buried deep in my brain. I didn’t want to misplace it again, so I stopped to dictate a note on my cellphone. I soon realized that immediately preserving a thought is a critical step in making the process work.

Later, as I read a magazine, new ideas came to light. There was an interesting book that I might like; a bicycle excursion to try in Missouri, which also reminded me of a nice Ohio ride; and a volunteer opportunity with the national Rails To Trails network that I might enjoy. And joining a local bicycle club would replace some of the workplace socialization that I would miss! I’d added five activities to my notes in five minutes. That was easy!

After a few more weeks of this serendipity, I added my notes to the Word document and found that I now had a full-page bullet list of interesting and fun activities. Categories emerged—biking, books, museums, volunteering, among others—so I put them in outline form. This generated more ideas. I liked running, and there were marathons that I wanted to run before my legs gave out. And so on. That took me to two pages without trying.

As I returned to my Word document from time to time, more ideas came to mind: piano lessons I could resume after many years, an incomplete urban studies degree that I could finish, and a geology course that I could take. And projects that I wanted to realize years ago but which had hit a brick wall: a historical marker, a veterans memorial along a local highway, and genealogical research. I didn’t have to or need to accomplish any of these, but the list would remind me that they were there to pursue.

It should be apparent that specificity is critical. Don’t just say “travel;” say where. For “movies,” list titles. Otherwise, your list will be a useless collection of vague notions. Further, specificity will trigger more ideas. You don’t have to come up with everything at once. List a few ideas, and let your mind percolate.

My list includes many minor activities that require little time—visits to certain museums, a research project or a short hike. Even if your Plan A is working nicely, it’s great to have a list of simple things that you can do. They fill an open day quite nicely. Yet they are easily forgotten unless you jot them down.

Closure—doing something for a friend or a relative before the passage of time makes it impossible and leads to regret—is the most intriguing category on my list. It included taking my older sister around Ohio to see places of personal interest but that she never was able to visit. We made that trip soon after my retirement, perhaps just in time. I wish I’d started my list decades ago: similar opportunities lapsed for lack of a constant reminder.

Put your list into action

How should you create your list? There are four guiding principles.

  • The naturalist John Burroughs notes: “How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.” Your retirement should be full of light and color, however you define the term, as well. So include only activities that are rewarding. A colonoscopy is not full of light and color. Nor is cleaning out the garage. They belong on some other list.

  • General Dwight Eisenhower cautions: “Plans are worthless, but planning is everything.” Retirement plans aren’t bulletproof. Change happens. So unleash your imagination, and consider possibilities. It’s fine to focus on yourself; these are ideas, not intentions. Who knows what lies ahead? In life, as in war, it’s best to have options ready.

  • The economist Paul Romer observes: “Possibilities do not merely add up. They multiply.”

  • Keep it simple. This is a list, not an essay. Use few words and one line per item.

What goes in it? Anything full of light and color. Routine or bucket list, simple or complicated, long or short, tangible or intangible, practical or speculative.

Everyone has ideas about what to do in retirement, but it’s practically impossible to remember them all when the time comes. It’s a huge project just to try. Many don’t, so they lapse into boredom. I think that’s why my retiree lunchmate was so unhappy.

Fortunately, there’s a simple solution. It’s easy to start early and maintain a big list of possible activities without getting bogged down. And it can serve many purposes: setting priorities, clarifying interests, filling an open day or providing ideas for Plan B.

What I’ve related may seem obvious now, but it’s not intuitive. Nearly everyone, young or old, that I talk to about my list, has an “a ha” moment and thinks it’s brilliant. You’ll have to decide for yourself. But I think you’d find that creating a list is worth the small effort that’s required.

I have. Though retired, I continue to add to my list. It’s now a seventeen-pager—and growing.

Douglas R. Melin is a retired chief counsel at the Marathon Petroleum Corp.

ABAJournal.com is accepting queries for original, thoughtful, nonpromotional articles and commentary by unpaid contributors to run in the Your Voice section. Details and submission guidelines are posted at “Your Submissions, Your Voice.”

This column reflects the opinions of the author and not necessarily the views of the ABA Journal—or the American Bar Association.

I’ve spent much of my career in the legal industry as a lawyer and a law firm business administrator. I don’t have the demographic profile of a typical American lawyer or even a typical BigLaw business director. My parents, Italian Americans from Greater Boston (one of whom is a second-generation American) did not graduate from college, and no one in their families went to law school or became a lawyer.

I graduated from law school in 2010, during one of the worst job markets of the past several decades—in the wake of a financial crisis that gave rise to widespread unemployment and wage stagnation. I was always taught to put my nose to the grindstone, to never complain, to eagerly volunteer for more work—whether that meant staying at the office late or working on weekends. “You’re lucky to have the work” was the dominant refrain, and we find that sentiment returning today—in another employer’s market.

When I began my career as a lawyer, I always wanted to learn more and take on more responsibility—the more that I did and produced, the more like a real, worthwhile human being I felt—at least at first. I would do anything to make my family proud. But I slowly became more unmoored, isolated from family, friends and my values. My whole personality was buried under inauthentic, fawning people-pleasing, saying yes regardless of the mental and emotional costs, adding projects and hours in the hope that it would make me feel like I was accepted and belonged.

When you’ve been masking with all your might since you were a small child, you end up feeling incredibly lost, alone, alienated and afraid, unable to develop a clear picture of who you are. You constantly ask yourself whether you really know anything about your personality and values, creating a constant, unbearable sense of dread and extreme dysphoria.

But this kind of strenuous masking is a requirement for success in the corporate world if you are neurodivergent or struggle with mental illness. The expectation to be an extrovert and deliver consistent high performance created a sense of unrelenting feeling of being overwhelmed.

My mental health issues come with an acute sensitivity to rejection, but ironically, this has led to personal and professional habits that have made rejection seem almost inevitable: among them paralyzing perfectionism and rumination. Though it would take years and an almost deadly breakdown to recognize it, I was experiencing acute, life-threatening burnout.

Over the years of acute mental illness, my day-to-day life got darker and scarier. I tried to quell what became hourly panic attacks with various forms of self-medication. As the years passed, I spoke extensively with some of the country’s top therapists and psychiatrists. No one knew quite how to diagnose me or which pills to give me. Commonly prescribed drug therapies and treatment programs failed to help, and they have often made my symptoms worse.

After years, I finally reached a point of physical and psychological exhaustion that made suicide feel like a good (or better) option. I began to have very persistent, frightening thoughts about how nice it would be to simply not exist. In my mind, nothingness looked like rest from constant pain and anxiety and exhaustion, like sleep and perfect, endless peace.

On Sept. 14, 2023, after years of quiet struggle, I tried to take my life in a hotel room in Chicago. The idea of going to sleep and never waking up seemed like my best bet, like the only chance I had left for any relief, the only way to be able to rest my mind, my body and my heart. I was disappointed to wake up in the hospital.

We remain in the earliest days of understanding mental illness, a preparadigmatic stage in which the results of studies often are not replicable, and we find a lack of consensus among the various available models used to explain it.

We hear a lot these days about a mental health crisis, but no one really knows what that means; so much of the information that we would have to know lives on the other side of our collective unwillingness to change the social and institutional structures that are hurting us. It lives in unshared stories and the pain that we hide to try to save face.

Even after having lived with major mental health issues, I can’t shake my outmoded ways of thinking about them and the people they afflict—myself included. We’re all judging people with mental health issues because we’ve been trained to and because we think that tough, capable, high-achieving people are supposed to power through. More than that, we think that highly credentialed professionals are simply not the kinds of people who have mental health issues in the first place.

Top firms attract smart, talented and driven people who personify what has come to be known as hustle culture. We are taught to measure our self-worth in degrees, credentials, job titles, promotions and—perhaps more than anything else—money and status. For many of us, there is no shame worse than looking weak to our high-achieving, high-earning peers. Our culture is one of toxic productivity, fixated on endless growth.

This fact has become more and more conspicuous as so many of our hardest workers and highest earners seem to be the most impoverished among us in terms of free time and peace. Burnout and overwork have now become a crisis and an epidemic, responsible for millions of deaths every year. Deep feelings of isolation and purposelessness seem to be a feature of the prevailing social and economic paradigm, rather than a bug. “Hopelessness is at epidemic levels,” with a growing number of Americans experiencing chronic depression and despair.

Credentialed “knowledge workers” like nothing more than to flex on social media, cultivating the appearance of a person who really cares and would help. But when push comes to shove, stigma remains the dominant and overriding fact and cultural mode, present in every conversation about mental health generally and suicide in particular.

Our glorification of powering through challenges without taking time to recover or assess underlying issues is a maladaptive response to chronic stress and exhaustion. It perpetuates the worst aspects of hustle culture by ignoring the structural and systemic factors that have led us here, isolating people by making us think that everything comes down to our choices.

I’ve had several people, including colleagues, friends and family members, suggest or state outright that mental health issues are not a real disability or even a genuine health issue—at least not as real as physical health issues—notwithstanding the fact that we have known for decades that mental health issues have a real and tangible impact on physical health, and that the brain is indeed an organ and part of the body.

After my suicide attempt, the first thing I heard from those closest to me was: “So when are you getting back in the saddle?” and “I know you can do better—just try harder!” One of my closest family members even encouraged me to end my life. Only my productivity mattered.

Much of the resilience discourse and the practices that we have adopted in the corporate world have become completely toxic. Our culture teaches us that if one is struggling with mental health issues, they are essentially weak and just have to try harder. The prevailing message remains: No one is looking. It’s your responsibility to keep pushing.

David S. D’Amato is an attorney, a businessman and an author of popular and scholarly articles. His writing has appeared in the Hill, Forbes, Newsweek, Investor’s Business Daily, RealClearPolitics, the Washington Examiner and many other publications, and his work has been cited by the American Civil Liberties Union and Human Rights Watch, among others.

ABAJournal.com is accepting queries for original, thoughtful, nonpromotional articles and commentary by unpaid contributors to run in the Your Voice section. Details and submission guidelines are posted at “Your Submissions, Your Voice.”

This column reflects the opinions of the author and not necessarily the views of the ABA Journal—or the American Bar Association.

“When you lose touch with inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.” —Eckhart Tolle

Yoga has been a therapeutic tool for the legal profession for decades. The benefits of yoga have become so mainstream that we even have CLEs dedicated to yoga and its impact on lawyers’ mental and physical well-being.

But yin yoga, a subset of the traditional yoga flow practice, is a more niche form of practice that is not as well known in the legal profession. Often defined as “still and contemplative yoga,” yin is a slower-paced and more meditative style that has the ability to teach additional, practice-oriented skills to lawyers.

What is yin yoga?

Many yoga practices today focus primarily on building strength and balance through active and sweat-inducing routines. Yin, on the other hand, works the deep fascial connective tissues in the body with slower movements and a larger focus on building connection between the mind and the body.

Although this style of yoga may appear lethargic and passive, yin can be quite challenging. Yin shapes can be held for upward of five minutes at a time, truly testing our patience muscles. These shapes gently stress connective tissues to allow for more oxygen into the muscles, thereby increasing blood flow throughout the body. Most notably, yin teaches us to be present in uncomfortable and fidget-worthy moments.

Lawyers and impulsive behavior

We all know that lawyers love to talk and argue—often feeling the need to assert their opinions into conversations. Lawyers are sometimes guilty of rehearsing “comeback” arguments in their heads before someone else even finishes their sentence.

Moreover, if a lawyer thinks that they are being verbally attacked (or worse, trying to be proven wrong), they may be tempted to react impulsively and say things that they will likely regret later. Any principles of active listening get thrown out of the window. The idea of pausing for reflection is not always in our repertoire, as it can be rewarding for our egos to be quick-witted.

The power of the pause

Yin introduces us to the power of the pause—allowing the body and the mind to be content in moments of silence and discomfort. A common methodology in practice is the principle of reaching your edge—the sensation in which the body feels the tension but also recognizes when to be still before it reaches the point of pain.

By understanding our edges in real life, we become more cognizant of our emotional triggers in conversations. When we feel the body get tense in a heated discussion with an opposing counsel or a colleague, we may benefit from taking a deep breath (or two).

Instead of feeling the need to respond immediately, we should challenge ourselves to be patient in silence, so we can process another person’s point of view. In doing so, we are more adept at engaging in healthy and productive conversations.

Dragon and energy channels

One of my favorite positions in yin is the dragon shape, which works the outer and the inner legs, as well as the spine. It resembles a kneeling lunge and can be a game-changer for those who sit behind a desk with tight hip flexors.

According to Mary Beth Harding, a certified 500-hour yoga teacher, “Meridians, originating from traditional Chinese medicine, form an integral energetic network of channels that stress and illness can often block or disrupt. Dragon shapes engage several of these channels, particularly those connected to the stomach and spleen meridians—areas closely tied to rumination and anxiety. Additionally, they can benefit the tissues often dehydrated by long days at a desk. By gently manipulating these specific channels and tissues, we can encourage the nervous system to release built-up tension and stress, as well as promote greater clarity of thought.”

While traditional yoga flow certainly has its benefits, the unique practice of yin yoga should not be overlooked. Consistent yin practice can teach lawyers to be patient in uncomfortable moments—no matter how intense a conversation may be.

Bradley T. Bald is an attorney in Nashville, Tennessee, where is associate general counsel for Lifestyle Communities, a national multifamily developer, investor and operator. He obtained his 20-hour foundations of yin yoga training in February 2024.

ABAJournal.com is accepting queries for original, thoughtful, nonpromotional articles and commentary by unpaid contributors to run in the Your Voice section. Details and submission guidelines are posted at “Your Submissions, Your Voice.”

This column reflects the opinions of the author and not necessarily the views of the ABA Journal—or the American Bar Association.

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3. Federal appeals judge, 97, loses bid to unseal…

Judiciary

Federal appeals judge, 97, loses bid to unseal documents about her suspension

By Debra Cassens Weiss

February 4, 2025, 9:30 am CST

Federal law does not permit a 97-year-old federal appeals judge to unseal documents about her suspension absent consent of the chief judge of her circuit, the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit ruled Monday.

Judge Pauline Newman of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit wanted to unseal the documents in an appeal of a federal judge’s July ruling dismissing her challenge to the disability law governing her case, Law360 reports.

Newman was suspended in September 2023 for refusing to participate in medical evaluations to determine her mental fitness.

Newman had told the D.C. Circuit that the only confidential information in the documents concern her medical history, Law360 reported. The Federal Circuit countered that the documents were of “questionable relevance” and will soon be released with redactions.

Newman was investigated after evidence was said to show “troubling signs” of her cognitive decline. Her expert, an editor of the principal neurosurgery textbook, said Newman had an “extraordinarily high level of cognitive ability” and appears to be a “super-ager.”

The D.C. Circuit said the Judicial Conduct and Disability Act generally does not permit disclosure of records related to investigations unless written consent is obtained from the judge under investigation and the chief judge of the relevant circuit.

See also:

97-year-old federal appeals judge should be suspended another year for exam refusal, panel says

Federal appeals judge, 97, who refused to cooperate in fitness probe loses challenge to disability law

Investigations of federal judges are rare and should happen more, former clerk says

Federal appeals judge, 96, fails to overturn suspension order for refusing to cooperate in fitness probe

Speaking at ABA meeting, federal appeals judge, 96, doesn’t address her suspension but mentions opinion pace

Write a letter to the editor, share a story tip or update, or report an error.

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3. Lawyer suspended after arguing cocaine enhanced…

Ethics

Lawyer suspended after arguing cocaine enhanced his cognition

By Debra Cassens Weiss

November 7, 2024, 11:55 am CST

A former public defender accused of representing a client at a November 2022 preliminary hearing while under the influence of cocaine has received a suspension of a year and a day.

The Pennsylvania Supreme Court suspended Erie, Pennsylvania, lawyer Nathaniel Edmond Strasser in a Nov. 6 order, the Erie Times-News reports.

While representing himself in the disciplinary case, Strasser focused on the idea that cocaine enhanced his performance as an attorney, according to the Pennsylvania Supreme Court’s disciplinary board. Its Aug. 7 report and recommendation was attached to the state supreme court order.

Strasser raised the issue when cross-examining Pennsylvania State Police Trooper Chris Weber. The officer is a drug recognition expert who noted that on the day of the preliminary hearing in November 2022, Strasser was hyperactive and fidgety, his pupils were dilated, his nose was bleeding, and one of his nostrils was hairless and inflamed.

Strasser tested positive for cocaine use after Weber confronted him following the preliminary hearing. He was fired from his job as an assistant public defender.

Cocaine “increases your awareness, correct?” Strasser asked during his cross-examination of Weber at the disciplinary hearing.

“Cocaine has a positive effect on one’s cognitive abilities in low doses,” Strasser continued. “My mental awareness was at a heightened state, not a lower state.”

Weber acknowledged that Strasser “had severe focus” on the day in question but said it appeared that he was “focusing on a hundred things and couldn’t quite figure out what was important at the time.”

Strasser had also stated that he wasn’t in a 12-step program because his “problems aren’t really addiction.”

Strasser later hired a lawyer in the disciplinary case, acknowledged that he was an addict and sought substance abuse probation. The disciplinary board refused, however, to reopen the case to allow evidence of his substance abuse and treatment from years ago.

Reopening the case “would set an untenable precedent, as it would allow other similarly situated respondents to take their chances at a hearing, assess the outcome, and if they are dissatisfied, reopen the record to present evidence that was readily available to be presented but was not,” the disciplinary board said.

Strasser “failed to accept responsibility for his misconduct, lacked appreciation that his appearance at a criminal proceeding on behalf of a client while under the influence of cocaine was harmful to his client and the integrity of the legal profession, and notably failed to express any remorse,” the disciplinary board said.

A mitigating factor was that Strasser has practiced law since 2007 with no prior discipline.

Strasser’s lawyer, Philip Friedman, did not immediately respond to the ABA Journal’s email seeking comment. Strasser did not immediately respond to a Journal voicemail.

Lawyers and law students needing help for mental health issues or substance abuse disorders can contact their state lawyer assistance program. The ABA has published contact information here.

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3. These law firms are tops for midlevel associate…

Law Firms

These law firms are tops for midlevel associate satisfaction; how were their tech ratings?

By Debra Cassens Weiss

September 5, 2024, 12:02 pm CDT

BigLaw’s midlevel associates have spoken. The top law firm for midlevel associate satisfaction is O’Melveny & Myers, according to results from the American Lawyer’s 2024 Midlevel Associates Survey published by Law.com.

“We’re given a lot of autonomy over our assignments, which means we can take more ownership over the final product and our schedules,” said one O’Melveny associate whose comments were published in another Law.com article. “It’s also a ‘mature’ firm, in that everyone understands, expects, and respects the fact we have lives and obligations beyond the firm.”

O’Melveny was also near the top in the 2024 Midlevel Associate Tech Survey, receiving a No. 2 ranking, according to Law.com. Indeed, the five firms on top for overall associate satisfaction also had high technology ratings.

The satisfaction and tech surveys were sent to BigLaw associates in their third, fourth and fifth years at 72 firms.

The satisfaction rankings consider 12 factors, including compensation, training and guidance, relationships with colleagues, work satisfaction, billable-hours policies and management transparency.

The top five firms on the midlevel associate satisfaction list, along with their tech rankings, are:

1. O’Melveny & Myers, ranked No. 2 for tech
2. Blank Rome, ranked No. 1 for tech
3. Morgan, Lewis & Bockius, ranked No. 3 for tech
4. McDermott Will & Emery, ranked No. 4 for tech
5. Proskauer Rose, ranked No. 20 for tech

The fifth-ranked firm for tech, Baker & Hostetler, was ranked No. 9 for overall associate satisfaction.

Steptoe was in last place for overall associate satisfaction, while Covington & Burling was ranked last for tech.

One Steptoe associate complained about a failure to set expectations and provide constructive feedback. Covington associates complained that its tech is “abysmal” and “is still quite poor for a firm of its size.”

Will Drake, Steptoe’s professional development committee co-chair, told Law.com in a statement that the firm is committed to “cultivating an environment where our associates can thrive.” The firm’s recent efforts included a summer associate retreat, focus groups, one-on-one sessions and a new talent team, he told the publication.

Covington did not respond to Law.com’s request for comment. One associate said the firm attributed its poor showing to a low response rate to the survey.

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3. NY law prof is calling on ‘Lawyer Nation’…

The Modern Law Library

NY law prof is calling on ‘Lawyer Nation’ to reform

By Lee Rawles

February 28, 2024, 8:44 am CST

Ray Brescia, a law professor at Albany Law School in New York, has taken a hard look at the country’s legal system in his new book, Lawyer Nation: The Past, Present, and Future of the American Legal Profession.

In this episode of The Modern Law Library podcast, Brescia tells the ABA Journal’s Lee Rawles about the efforts in the late 19th and early 20th century to exclude people from the legal profession who were not part of the dominant social class and how access-to-justice issues persist today as a result of some of those measures.

The early American Bar Association is one of the organizations that he names as a participant in the exclusionary efforts through its law school accreditation program, and he and Rawles discuss the ABA’s current efforts to increase diversity, equity and inclusion.

As someone who has worked in academia, the nonprofit world, legal aid organizations and as a clerk at the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York, he says he’s come across many people who care deeply and want the justice system to function better. But without fundamental changes to the ways that legal services are delivered, he does not think that the access-to-justice issues can be solved.

A large part of Brescia’s concern that he expresses in Lawyer Nation is for legal professionals themselves. Brescia says the mental illness and substance-use levels within the profession demonstrate that greater care has to be shown for lawyers’ well-being and work-life balance. He shares his advice for making the profession more sustainable for the incoming generation. He also discusses how law schools and legal education can change.

In This Podcast:

Ray Brescia

Ray Brescia is the Hon. Harold R. Tyler professor in law and technology at Albany Law School in New York. Before coming to Albany Law School, he was the associate director of the Urban Justice Center in New York. He also was an adjunct professor at New York Law School from 1997 to 2006. Before his work at the Urban Justice Center, he was a staff attorney at New Haven Legal Assistance and the Legal Aid Society of New York. Brescia also was law clerk to Senior U.S. District Judge Constance Baker Motley of the Southern District of New York. He is the author or editor of The Future of Change: How Technology Shapes Social Revolutions, Crisis Lawyering: Effective Legal Advocacy in Emergency Situations, How Cities Will Save the World: Urban Innovation in the Face of Population Flows, Climate Change and Economic Inequality and Lawyer Nation: The Past, Present, and Future of the American Legal Profession.